Hello from seat 9F, American Airlines flight 1358 to Los Angeles.
I am ready and settled. I've seen the baggage throwers do what they do best, play toss the caber with people's belongings, and I am about to ask the stewardess if there is a 'Bucket Of Wine' option on this flight.
We have been delayed half an hour. You will not believe the amount of whinging and whining 1,800 seconds can prompt. Good grief, get a coffee, use the loo, and then we'll be boarding. Perhaps we'll all get lucky and this horrific, major life event will put you off travel altogether.
The last show was marvelous. Having done my fair share of long distance solo driving this tour, I invited my friend, Tarik, to hop in our Honda Fit and drive with me to Council Bluffs, Iowa. I am glad he agreed, and I was very glad of his company. It's a hefty drive from Chicago. I introduced him to Sandra the GPS, and they got along great. We pretty much laughed the whole way there, and the whole way back. We didn't laugh very much in the Cracker Barrel in Clive, Iowa though (Clive?! The town is called Clive?!). The lady serving us had a very difficult time, bless her, in differentiating between the two types of iced tea available. After several attempts to provide the one requested, I gave up and ordered hot coffee. Which is pretty much the exact opposite of iced tea. Also. That roast beef sandwich had never been a part of a cow in its life. Perhaps a cardboard box, but certainly not a hooved animal.
So ahead of me are the two final gigs of the tour with George Thorogood and Brian Setzer. I'm flying into L.A a little early to see my co-manager, Jason, and take a few meetings around town with him. How mad does that sound? "Just nipping to California to take a few meetings". 13 year old me would have laughed his arse off.
Anyways. I must dash. The wine is becoming more crucial and necessary after I just heard the lady next to me ask the stewardess;
"Is there gluten in the snack pack?"
If I had been the stewardess I may have replied;
"yes, there is - and you must avoid it like the plague! However, that menu you are holding is entirely gluten free, and probably just as nutritious and flavourful!"
I am going to ask if I may upgrade my Bucket Of Wine to a Trough.